California Causes Cancer

I have an extension cord which has a label on it, declaring that the state of California has determined that some material in it is going to cause me cancer. I’m not sure how they know this. Most of the time, I just plug these things in and then plug other things into them. I’m not sure how I could get cancer from that. Are there other, better extension cords that won’t give me cancer? Can I get my money back for this one and buy one of those?

Of course, I’m being facetious. And California is being fatuous. I’d have to eat or bathe in whatever material is in that extension cord to get cancer from it. And I’d probably have to bathe in or eat a lot of it to cause me cancer. And ordinarily, I avoid bathing in or eating extension cords. I’m weird that way.

California appears to be the only state smart enough to figure out the cancer angle. Aren’t we fortunate to have them around to warn us about things like this?

If you’re like me, you’ve got a lot of stuff around your house labeled this way. And the only state I’ve seen which insists on labels like this is California. Just imagine if other states pursued the same course.

Personally, I think this campaign by California to inform the rest of the world what we should eat, drink, bathe in or use is another example of California thinking far more of itself than the rest of us do. Here’s my answer: a series of memes, hash tags, bumper stickers, t-shirts, coffee mugs and other merchandise with the words: “California causes cancer”.

I’m betting California doesn’t have a very good sense of humor about itself. But I think they should get used to being mocked from now on.